LIVING IN THE DAILY GRIND

Naming 2012

Wintersculpture © Banu Moore, 2011

It has been a spiritual practice for the past three years to name my year. It was Ann Voskamp who inpired me to engage in this practice several years ago. 2009 the name was Metanoia--Be You After Minding... 2010 was Kingdom Work... 2011 was Obedience in the Spirit... 2012 is Contemplating the Mystery...

Naming my year has challenged me to seek God and community with intention and purpose.  I have been more attentive to listening how our stories weave a pattern of grace in and through our daily encounters with God and one another.  I have learned to be more compassionate with myself.  I have grown in trust... I have grown in love...

2011 was full of transformational challenges.  In obeying Christ and his life in and around me, I have moved closer and closer to silence -- mine and God's... So many questions for which I have had ready answers now stand at the threshold of God's unfathomable mystery. I am comfortable with not having all the answers any more even as a pastor.  It allows for the struggle to be an awesome adventure of joy and hope.

Contemplating the Mystery is learning to take a long loving look at the real... in our lives, churches, communities... learning to open ourselves to embrace the other without fear and judgement.  It is a tough call.  We are assured that "we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength." (Philippians 4:13)

I am ready to delve in this year with great expectation... Some of the words I plan to focus through reflection and art are

     bliss... joy... open... embrace... live... abundance... gratitude... explore... fun... imagine... risk... bold...fly... sing... dance... passion... wilderness... fullness... experience... mindful... mystic... prophet... hospitality... sharing... nurture... suffering... sorrow... beauty... peace... hope...mercy... grace... gentle... kind... calm... sunshine... shadow... path... direction...

God is Mystery.  Christ is Incarnation.  Spirit is Revelation.  The Trinity is the perfect, holy community of life and love. 

May 2012 be blessed with new bursts...

In Search of Our Kneeling Places

In each heart lies a Bethlehem,
       an inn where we must ultimately answer
           whether there is room or not.
When we are Bethlehem-bound
      we experience our own advent in His.
When we are Bethlehem-bound
     we can no longer look the other way
          conveniently not seeing stars
not hearing angel voices.
We can no longer excuse ourselves
     by busily tending our sheep or our kingdoms.
This Advent let's go to Bethlehem
    and see this thing
         that the Lord has made known to us.
In the midst of shopping sprees
     let's ponder in our hearts the Gift of Gifts.
Through the tinsel
     let's look for the gold of the Christmas Star.
In the excitement and confusion,
     in the merry chaos,
        let's listen for the brush of angels' wings.
This Advent, let's go to Bethlehem
     and find our kneeling places.

—- Ann Weems, Kneeling in Bethlehem

Image copyright -- Banu Moore, 2011

Autumn... Harvest Time... Release... Renew...

The air is once again reminding us that fall is approaching. I love the smell of fall in the air, especially at nights. Harvest is in full swing: Juicy tomatoes, red and sweet... Crisp potatoes, full of good starch... Eggplants, cauliflower, broccoli, beans... Soon it will be pumpkin patch time!

Leaves will begin to change their color inviting us to feast our eyes on shades of brown, yellow, red and purple. By the time the feast of All Saints approaches we will begin our plans for Thanksgiving and even Christmas.

Fall is truly my favorite season. It is an invitation to let go and trust in the gentle, loving work of God within and around me. I am always reminded of Khalil Gibran's wise words as I enter this season:

Now I realize that the trees blossom in Spring

and bear fruit in Summer without seeking praise,

and they drop their leaves in Autumn

and become naked in Winter without fearing blame.

As I reflect on these lines hurricane Irene has been steadily moving along the east coast.  Many are already without power; flooding is underway; and NY city is preparing what might be a test for disaster preparedness. I mourn the death of those during this storm.

Gibran is inviting me once again to consider my nakedness before God and all creation.  No matter how much we prepare for whatever the inevitable disaster is on its way, let's face, we are never truly prepared.  Our first reaction is one of fear.  The Scripture reminds us that "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Fall is that time of the year where we might plunge into the power the Spirit, risking love and disciplining ourselves to trust God above all else.

The following video is based on a prayer by Joyce Rupp, OSM -- Prayer for Autumn Days.

May your season of fall be filled with wonder, amazement, release, letting go and renewal.

Fasting-- Discipline for Conversion of Heart and Mind...

"Fasting can bring breakthroughs in the spiritual realm that could never be had in any other way."

- Richard Foster

I have been thinking about fasting this week as a part of the Ancient Disciplines conversation with Phyllis Tickle.  In the Protestant tradition, we tend to reduce fasting to Lent and then forget about it for the rest of the year. For Anglican, Catholic and Orthodox communities, fasting is a deeply rooted practice in living the liturgical year day by day.  I am not how many of these faithful fast, but at least the traditions recognize the days of fast and provide guides for those who want to keep them.

There is a great article on SpiritHome for beginners, well, even for seasoned fasters.

St Symeon the New Theologian writes,

"Let each one of us keep in mind the benefit of fasting... For this healer of our souls is effective, in the case of one to quieten the fevers and impulses of the flesh, in another to assuage bad temper, in yet another to drive away sleep, in another to stir up zeal, and in yet another to restore purity of mind and to set him free from evil thoughts. In one it will control his unbridled tongue and, as it were by a bit, restrain it by the fear of God and prevent it from uttering idle and corrupt words. In another it will invisibly guard his eyes and fix them on high instead of allowing them to roam hither and thither, and thus cause him to look on himself and teach him to be mindful of his own faults and shortcomings. Fasting gradually disperses and drives away spiritual darkness and the veil of sin that lies on the soul, just as the sun dispels the mist. Fasting enables us spiritually to see that spiritual air in which Christ, the Sun who knows no setting, does not rise, but shines without ceasing. Fasting, aided by vigil, penetrates and softens hardness of heart. where once were the vapors of drunkenness it causes fountains of compunction to spring forth. I beseech you, brethren, let each of us strive that this may happen in us! Once this happens we shall readily, with God's help, cleave through the whole sea of passions and pass through the waves of the temptations inflicted by the cruel tyrant, and so come to anchor in the port of impassibility.

My brethren, it is not possible for these things to come about in one day or one week! They will take much time, labor, and pain, in accordance with each man's attitude and willingness, according to the measure of faith and one's contempt for the objects of sight and thought. In addition, it is also in accordance with the fervor of his ceaseless penitence and its constant working in the secret chamber of his heart that this is accomplished more quickly or more slowly by the gift and grace of God. But without fasting no one was ever able to achieve any of these virtues or any others, for fasting is the beginning and foundation of every spiritual activity."
— Symeon the New Theologian: the Discourses, pub. Paulist Press. pp. 168-169.

St. John Chrysostom speaks of fasting,

"Do you fast? Give me proof of it by your works.

If you see a poor man, take pity on him.

If you see a friend being honored, do not envy him.

Do not let only your mouth fast, but also the eye and the ear and the feet and the hands and all the members of our bodies.

Let the hands fast, by being free of avarice.

Let the feet fast, by ceasing to run after sin.

Let the eyes fast, by disciplining them not to glare at that which is sinful.

Let the ear fast, by not listening to evil talk and gossip.

Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism.

For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes, but bite and devour our brothers and sisters?

May He who came to the world to save sinners strengthen us to complete the fast with humility, have mercy on us and save us.

· St. John Chrysostom

http://www.oursanctuary.net/chrysostomlent.html

Instant Christmas in the Desert of Advent

I am participating this Advent with Christine Sine of Godspace in her Advent Synchroblog.  The theme this year is "Jesus is close... How do we draw near?"  There have been some wonderful inspirations for my Advent journey this week.  Here is the link to first week's reflections. My first reflection comes a week late.  May it be a blessing to you as writing about it has been for me...

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There is a heaviness in the air this Advent… all around us… Heaviness of something missing… The missing part has been there for quite a while but maybe now more than ever we are beginning to realize it is there. We have lived so long in the world of instants including Christmas, it is difficult to admit that something is missing...

Our society has been one of ‘instants’ for a long time. Think about it for a moment! How many things can you name that have instant counterparts?… Instant coffee, instant tea, instant oatmeal, instant soup, instant pudding, instant relief from pain… Instant and quick solutions to everything: instant weight loss, instant beauty, instant knowledge, instant health, instant wealth, instant success, instant maturity. When we have been indoctrinated in instants, we do not have the patience to wait for life happen naturally.

We want rapid delivery. If our mail is late, we get agitated, if the UPS guy does not ring the bell on time, we are angry. We want rapid delivery, not only of our mail, but of our happiness, peace, and love. We want rapid delivery of our faith as well.

Yet, Advent stands in stark contrast in a world of instants... Waiting, quiet, anticipation, repentance, the coming of Christ…” In the early church, Advent was forty days similar to Lent … a time where the Church was invited to fast, and pray, and prepare for the coming of Christ. This tradition is still kept in the Orthodox Church today…

Who wants to be in the desert when we could sing and dance and be merry! … Baking, decorating, rushing around, preparing for company, buying gifts… In an instantaneous Christmas we easily lose focus of the season of Advent which challenges us to slowly grow in the Spirit of the coming God.

We have lost our focus, but it did not happen overnight… Down deep within there is a silence that is choking us… In that silence we know, as people of the Jesus-Way, we are guilty for contributing our share while Christmas has been slowly turned into a quick fix for a short lived happiness, peace, and love. We have allowed Hallmark to remove Jesus and replace him with this fuzzy warm feeling spirit named "Christmas"… Everybody’s talking about the spirit of Christmas nowadays, but nobody dares to say, “you cannot have this spirit without Jesus.”

The coming of Christ into our world was not a fuzzy event… It brought suffering, pain and murder… Mary was ostracized for having an out-of-wedlock child… They were poor and had no place to give birth to the baby, and possibly scores if not more children were murdered for the sake of this baby by Herod!

Somehow it is easier to go along with the status quo for the sake of appearances then acknowledging what must be done to truly honor the Christ Child. Yet, the good news of Advent is that God is faithful.  There is sufficient grace to journey in the desert to discover the real beauty, joy, peace and love of the One who calls us to go beyond our darkness into the light.

Our God is not an instant God. We cannot put God in the microwave… It won’t work…

Advent is a desert… a desert of fasting, repentance, returning to the Lord… and allowing God to restore our broken lives…building back an intimate relationship with Jesus, instead of providing an instant fix… allowing the God of the Covenant, the Lord of hosts, Yahweh the Redeemer back into our hearts? Advent is a desert of fire...

My favorite Advent text comes from Malachi 2:17-3:6… which speaks to the desert of Advent… God comes like a refiner’s fire -- a refiner and purifier of silver and gold. God will refine us but we must allow the process…

Refining is a long and difficult process. The metal from a solid is first melted into a liquid state and then rendered pure by removing the unwanted particles. This process must be repeated many times as the silver or gold may have many impurities in its solid state. When the refining is finally complete, the pure metal finally emerges. We are the precious metals of silver and gold in God's eyes, yet we have many impurities. God works gently and with love within and among us to remove those impurities, so that we may emerge.

Who are we? We are the ones who carry God’s innocence and goodness in our deepest beings. As we emerge, we learn to claim that innocence and goodness within us. They belong to the deepest self. In the book, The Cloud of Unknowing, the author reminds us that "God beholds with God’s merciful eyes, not what we are, nor what we have been, but only what we would be." Isn’t this wonderful? God refines us only thinking by what we would be ... And this requires time, waiting, and repentance. It cannot be done in an instant.

Waiting in the desert of Advent involves an openness to God who has not abandoned us, but as One who speaks the Word in the power of silence, creates out of nothingness, raises the dead from the tomb, and brings new birth from the womb.

Waiting in the desert of Advent calls us to the creative anxiety of not having, not seeing, not knowing.  To touch God who is the ultimate Mystery, we are invited to leave “me” of self and journey in the desert waiting for the Mystery, listening to the Holy Fire who is coming to purify us?

Do we wait for God to speak to us in the Mystery? Or do we already know what God is going to say before it is even uttered! When we journey in the desert with "me" of self in mind, we will end up in a world of our own making filled with only the boredom and despair of our empty self.

I believe in this desert of Advent, in the purification… in what is emerging… I believe we are called to the desert of Advent -- into risk-taking, stepping beyond the "me-centered-ness" into the mystery of the "Unknown"!

God is coming as the Christ child; I am journeying in the desert. Still I am so  preoccupied with the busyness as well as business of a pastor's work, so burdened by the loneliness, isolation and despair of others, that my heart has been overwhelmed by a sadness preventing me to move forward.

In these moments I always remember the last lines of the movie Proof. Catherine is speaking, "How many days have I lost? How can I get back to the place where I started? I'm outside a house. Trying to find my way in. But it is locked and the blinds are down. And I've lost the key. And I can't remember what the rooms look like or where I put anything. And if I dare go in inside. I wonder... will I ever be able to find my way out?"

Then I remember the promise of Christ, "Lo I am always with you to the end of the age."  So I continue the journey in the desert  towards the place of innocence and goodness -- the place where Jesus dwells. In that place I am loved and forgiven... I am not afraid.  I trust.  I am simply where I am, listening, seeing, touching ... always sure that I am not alone but with Jesus who beholds me as his beloved.